The whut goes in the what now?
by The Char
Summary: Romano has little to no sexual experience with men, Prussia has little to no sexual experience period because he's a loser like that. Angry fight sex.


"Gah! Scheiße!" Gilbert exclaimed loudly, both of his hands reaching up to hang around Romano's neck. "That hurt, bastard!" He moaned as Romano pressed himself on top of him, removing his mouth from Gilberts neck, leaving some red bite marks.  
"Shut up, you said you did this before." Romano grumbled, reaching one hand a bit further into Gilbert's pants.  
"Of course!" Gilbert shouted as if highly offended by that remark. The truth though, was that this was very much his first time in bed.

"Then stop complaining, potato eater." Romano added, smoothly slipping Gilberts briefs of his hips. For that matter, it was Romano's first time with a man, but he totally knew what he was doing. He had Italian blood after all, voted best lover in the world! Granted, by women, but that was not going to stop him from proving it. It was instinct, instinct would show him exactly what to do.  
Instinct had no clue what to do with the other man's penis. _Okay, we can figure this out, what do we usually do with the penis? You play with it or put it in somewhere. _That summed it up nicely, and against some protest, he went and seized Gilberts vital regions. Holding it now, he was on a roll here. But what to do next? He observed the other's penis, not quite the 'awesome five metres' that the other country had been talking about. He pondered, absentmindedly moving the phallus around to pretend that he was doing something.  
_What the hell is that guy doing?_ The other country thought. Granted he was doing something and he obviously had more experience, but really? He gasped as Romano grasped a bit tighter, causing him to jerk up somewhat, moaning. "What the f-" He was cut off as he felt another jolt travel through his body.

_Oh yes, that was a reaction, I so knew I could do this. Okay, next step.. I... _His train of thought was lost as the other country's hands started wandering towards his vital regions and roughly pulling his boxers down. "What are you doing, Potato brain!" He yelled frantically.  
"Awesome stuff." Gilbert said. In all truth, he was just trying to copy whatever the hell it was that Romano was doing.  
"Don't!" Romano yelled hysterically. "You're throwing of my fo... You're doing it wrong! Sheez." _What the hell did Gilbo think he was trying to do? Sheez... okay, focus, focus, vespa, we can do this. The next step what do we do. Ah, of course. _

Gilbert was lying underneath the Italian, blushing somewhat. Had he been doing it wrong? Damn, he couldn't let Romano figure out that this was his first time. "Well, I was just trying some... awesome new techniques... they are... German... and French... you wouldn't get it... pfff..." He complained, muttering silently, trying to justify it. The man above him was silent, looking down at him intensely, briefly appearing to nearly be in trance. Was that normal, did sex require so much concentration? He imitated the look, try to look intense, in trance and right through Romano at the same time.  
_Why is he looking so weirdly?_ It was quite unimaginable that he had, god forbid, just did something wrong. It didn't matter, he frowned, still softly caressing the other man's erection to provide a distraction. _Where was I? Right, next step... it goes inside things... we don't have one of those... that doesn't work... I won't even consider that, that can't be good for hearing... hmmm... naturalmente! _

Gilbert briefly felt Romano's hand tighten around his member, causing him to gasp again.  
"Turn around, Gilbo." The other country ordered.  
"I already knew that!" Gilbert faintly exclaimed, oh man, he was smooth, Romano wouldn't expect a thing, he'd totally think that he knew exactly in what order these things work, oh yes.  
Romano pulled down the back of Gilbo's briefs, moving away a buttcheek and surely he was looking at his target. This was still highly experimental and he would be damned if he was going to be taking it first, much less trying to instruct Gilbo at it, he and his 'five metres' would probably miss the point, or god forbid, do 'something else' that was considered normal in this situation and he didn't know about.

Gilbo lay silently, face down, butt up, wondering what Romano was doing and why his wurst wasn't getting any attention any more. Then, all of the sudden he felt it, making his body jerk upwards and causing him to look hurriedly of his shoulder. "'That' does not fit in there!" He yelled angrily, blushing fiercely, slightly teary.  
"Silenzioso.." Romano muttered, putting it in a bit deeper, feel Gilbert tighten around him. He moved a bit closer, setting his hands down next to each of Gilbo's shoulders to support himself. He leaned down a bit, putting it in a bit further.  
"That... that hurts..."  
"But you look aroused.~"  
"It hurts!" Prussia protested trying to turn around, not very effectively with the surprisingly strong Italian on his back, trying to bite at the wrists of the two arms located next to his shoulders in protest, struggling to scratch at Romano, but only managing to wriggle him in a bit deeper.

If anything it did feel good, Romano noted. The tightness around him felt right, making him shiver with delight, especially once the squirming Germanic country started causing friction by wriggling all over the place. "That's good...buon …... awesome..." He grinned, leaning over a bit to kiss Gilbert's bare back, biting playfully at the skin.  
Gilbert moaned awkwardly, clumsily grabbing at the ground beneath him. It wasn't only unpleasant, surely enough there was some nice side to it, in some curious twisted painful way. He coughed slightly. "YES!" He started. "Awesome!" he added, making sure that Romano would know that he was thoroughly enjoying this like any good 'not-virgin' should.

_Oh yes, I'm doing this right, Italian genes have come out victorious again!~_ Romano congratulated himself excessively, hearing Gilbert's reaction, having a celebratory tomato party in his mind. He put his hands down on Gilberts shoulder, pushing in a bit further. "Oh... yes... this is just like riding a vespa." He moaned quietly, driving it in deeper.  
Gilbert wasn't sure if he had registered what was just said. A vespa? Was that even a compliment? Or? He bit his lip, groaning as Romano went in a bit deeper again. He tensed his back, buckled upwards, clumsily and painfully throwing Romano off, causing their heads to bump into each other, sending both of them rolling.

"Figlio di Trioa!" Romano sweared, roughly falling on the ground. "What do you think your doing?" He shouted at the country that was looming above him now, staring down at him, one hand on each side.  
"You should know that." Gilbert replied, sounding offended, planning to just imitate everything the Italian had done to him. He grabbed him at the shoulders, grinding against the ground to awkwardly get it in, very much against Romano's loud protesting swears in Italian. That did feel good, oh yes it did. "Awesome." Gilbert moaned, feeling the struggling Italian beneath him.

_Such a gran' disgraziato, how dare that potato eating bastard just go and decide to top like that?_ He pushed himself up, hitting Gilbert, causing both of them to fall backwards. Romano jumped up, looking down at Gilbert. "Pezzo di merda! Don't do that, you did it all wrong!" Romano shouted hysterically, blushing heavily from the disgrace a moment ago. It had gone way too fast, it did hurt, and he didn't feel any need to scream 'yes' or 'awesome' like Gilbert had done, clearly Gilbert was doing it wrong. "Go lie on your back again you cretino!"  
Gilbert was startled and looked away from Romano in an embarrassed fashion. Had he done that badly, man, that was embarrassing. "I know!... I... I.. was just... testing you..." Gilbert looked away awkwardly, coughing softly and turning over on his stomach again.  
Romano grumbled slightly. "Good." He lay back on top of Gilbert, smiling. His Italian instinct was absolutely right, and filling up with new ideas. It didn't matter if those weren't conventional, they had to be, _were_, right and he would make sure to teach Gilbert this. 

{{Woosh, woosh, more de-anoning, yep.

.?thread=7176151#t7176151

I actually quite like this one still.}}


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